man at bar with cocktail napkin eye patch and pirate hatLaughter filled the table. We were like a stylish liquor ad come to life as we celebrated the birthday of one of my closest friends, Jasper. To my right, his charming mother and step-father were dutifully taking pictures as the server brought out a martini with a candle the olive (J’s favorite dessert!). Across the table, his lovely girlfriend smiled and kissed his cheek. The food was terrific, the cocktails well-made and plentiful.

After dinner we ventured out into the crisp night air and walked a couple of blocks to one of the city’s newest and most stylish bars. We ducked into the tiny entrance and were met with the warm, humid embrace of a lively bar on a Friday night. The décor was rich and dark, lush even.

We sat at the stunning oak bar and order cocktails. Like the consummate flight attendant I am, I order an Aviation. There weren’t enough seats so the gentlemen stood. I am regaling the group with tales of the stress that comes with our annual recurrent training. Even though I know I will get through it, I still have nightmares in the nights before. Jasper’s mom is interested and I explain that it is almost all safety training and this year we focused on improvising equipment in medical situations. I laughingly told her that with a blanket, a sanitary pad and a disposable coffee cup I could save the world.

As if I cue, I notice a commotion next to me and look over to see Jasper holding a hand over his left eye. His girlfriend is apologizing profusely. She explains that she was pushing her hair off her shoulder when she accidentally poked J in the eye. He insisted he was ok but his quickly redding eye told another story. Although his pain eventually subsided, his eye it was sensitive to light.
“What would you do if you were on the plane?” Jasper’s Mom asked. I started cycling through my training. No disposable coffee cups in sight, no maxi pads. My eyes rested on a stack of cocktail napkins. This being posh place, they are strong and pliable. I get to work crafting a makeshift eye patch out of serviettes. I used a skewer to poke holes in two opposite corners, then rolled torn off bits of another napkin to make the “strings”. I threaded through the “patch” and knotted the ends to keep them in place. Voila! A eye patch fit for a pirate king. To my surprise, Jasper actually wore the thing for the rest of the night. Even more surprising, the bartenders weren’t fazed at all by the sight of a grown man in a cocktail napkin eye patch.

Even on the ground, flight attendants are good in a crisis and extremely clever. Move over MacGyver, I’ve got this.

As I sit across from the flight attendant interviewer, nodding my perfectly coiffed head enthusiastically –YES! I am totally a people person!– I have no idea what I was getting myself into. the
interviewer tells me it is more than a job, it is a lifestyle. Wow,  is that an understatement. There is no way to fully prepare for the effect it will have on my life.
Fast forward a year and I am an on-call or “reserve” flight attendant. My phone rings at 4 am and I have 20 mins to leave the house (crashpad technically, more on that later) to make my check-in. I am exhausted, fighting a cold and my uniform pants are getting hard to button. (*According to my observations,  most new flight attendants come down with some horrifying affliction before their probationary period ends. Pink eye claimed me in month two. That certainly wasn’t in the brochure) . The most basic of human functions—eating, sleeping, relieving myself—are at the mercy of my insane schedule.

The crazy thing is, I love it. 

This job isn’t for everyone but when it is right, it is the most incredible job in the world.   But it does have it’s nuances.

Fitting your entire life in a carry-on bag, being able to save a life and keep your smile on, traversing different cultures gracefully takes some practice. Flight attendants are some of the most resourceful people ever. Living The Sky Life is dedicated to all of us air divas out there, keeping the skies filled with style, humor and a whole lot of fun.

Welcome aboard!